I blame my low blood pressure on too many dances and workouts at the Village, Weetwood. However, after it went normal, my doctor insists on giving me some pills from chemical cohens, that have a side effect of lowering my blood pressure as a side effect.
I have been looking for a way to increase my blood pressure, I am thinking of puting more salt on food. Getting obese and stressed out. Then I had a brainwave, what about the booze?
I got a blood pressure leaflet from our excellent chemist, and it says a few drinks pumps up your blood pressure with ease. British Heart Foundation Leaflet no 9 page 47.
I tried a couple of glasses of wine, checked my pressure and lo and belold no difference?
I mentioned this to the pharmacist, and was shown a reference to a study by K Seppe, Hypertension, vol 33 p79 1999. This is a source of all the health scares about blood pressure and wine!
When I read the study I was shocked, according to the report alcohol does not increase BP above normal! So why do they say it does?
The study compares the BP of 20 men on a a saturday piss up when they all drank about 5 or 6 pints, with the following saturday when they stayed sober.
The graph shows that the men had normal blood pressures of about 120/80 if blathered or not, so why the worry, they had a slightly higher pulse whilst drinking, possibly due to lifting the glass up to their mouth?
This is very upsetting, I will have to find another way to get my blood pressure up, maybe I should try my pills out on the toilet, I have tried out yogurt on it to overcrowd the friendly bacteria, but it failed?
Is this misinformation about blood pressure the first sign of a developing teetotalitarian state? Low blood pressure is unpleasant, any suggestions would be welcome to get mine over the 100/60 barrier? Maybe I could pressurise my house, apply negative leeches, or stand upside down?